Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. One-quarter use dating websites. Over 50 dating means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. It means making good choices. I have compiled a list of 6 rules for Over 50 Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women. These aren’t your daughter’s dating rules. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story.
1.Don’t bond over your baggage.
Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage?” or “How has online dating been for you?” And off you go! You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates.
2.Don’t call him if he doesn’t call you.
Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. I know it’s tempting. But don’t do it. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating.
3.Don’t have sex until you’re really ready.
I know, you’re mature, smart and competent. But every day I coach women like you through situations they wish they didn’t get into. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right?
4.Do start by finding 3 things you like about him.
His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. Start off with the positive and try to stay in discovery mode before you decide he’s not right for you. This keeps you open to someone who might not be your type.
5.Do flirt like a grown-up.
Yes, grown-up women flirt and men like it! Keep your body language open, play with your hair, smile, touch his arm. And best flirt of all: compliment him! And bring your femininity to every date. It’s the thing we have that men want most!
6.Do manage the date conversation.
Be the master of the segue if he talks too much, or the conversation swerves into uncomfortable topics. Make sure you get to talk about yourself in a meaningful way as well. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won’t be a second date. Why is this up to you? Because you are better at it than he. Just do it, and you’ll both enjoy the date more.
Show up to your dates open, happy and being your already charming self. It will bring out the best in him and insure that you both have the best time possible. Remember, even if he is not Mr. I Love You, there is something valuable to learn from every date.